epic proportions

A grocery list of maladies:

-VN, symptoms returned
-recurring iritis
-10 visits to the dentist (I do not exaggerate) in the past 12 weeks, resulting in three fillings, one inlay, all of it on the left side of my mouth, which has ached for a week straight (since I got the inlay put in post-holiday trip)--and yes, I've been back to correct a high filling, but still it aches.
-obesity (might as well add it to the list)
-depression born from the usual stuff but exacerbated by aforementioned maladies and the sense that I am growing old way before my time

Yesterday I went in to the office early and cranked out a ton of work. By 3:00 I was so dizzy I had to lean my head against the bathroom stall so I could balance myself enough to zip up my pants. Around 3:30 I started feeling nauseous and thought to myself "shit, am I getting that stomach flu that's going around?" but then it hit me: the VN was back with a vengence. I hadn't felt symptoms like that since early November. I left work at 4:00, made it to my friend's shop which is about a mile or so from the law school, and around 6 p.m. called S. to come and get me. I didn't think driving was the best idea.

So now I know that this nightmare is far from over. I know that I have to get back on the PT train and keep working my brain muscle, help it figure out all the compensating it has to do for a nerve that lay limp and useless in my head. My level of frustration around illness has reached epic proportions. Last night, driving home with S., I said "it's as if my body doesn't know how to be well...and it's never just ONE thing that I suffer from, but a series of things, and it's been like that ever since I was a child, ever since I can remember. Now THAT'S a book."

Oh great, more fodder for writing, just what I need when writing is what seems to be kicking my ass in the first place.

Holding patterns. Stasis. My reserves running dangerously low.