always striving always striving always striving always striving always striving always striving always striving always striving always striving always

I'm gonna make this quick because I've gotta head out to caterland.

I've been thinking about "goal" and the how maintenance feels so different, and how I've held on to this notion that I need to keep on losing weight. And it seems to me that I'm attached to that idea of losing because it feels like motivation, like if I don't have a goal of losing I will lose my focus altogether. But lately, I've had this realization: maintaining takes work. Enough work. It's not thrilling and full of self-congratulation, but it should be. Not gaining is worthy of a pat on the back. But why do I need to hold onto the idea that I might shave off another 5 pounds because I like that number better? So I'm letting go of that right here and now. I'm committing to staying at goal. I'm also committing to improved fitness, to having regular activity even more deeply ingrained in my life.

I weigh 170 lbs. My goal is 170 lbs. I intend to maintain this weight of 170 lbs. I am not lacking anything at this weight-- my betterment is not contingent upon being (weighing) anything less than what I am right now. Oh, and my booty is rockin' at 170, which is what life is really all about. A fine, shapely place to lay down one's burdens.