stinkin' thinkin', or uh, floundering pondering
you know, this OPness stuff, I have a confession, or an admission, to make. Once upon a time, a while ago (actually, a long while ago) I had the EOP thing down. Can I just tell you that EOP is a whole lot easier when I'm single? It is. So this draws back to this other onion (a cippolini onion) I've been peeling, which has to do with aloneness and loneliness.
So it's easier to be EOP on my own because, well, I make all food decisions, and there's nothing pulling me one way or the other. I'm not showing love in the form of dessert-- I'm just making myself a tofu sandwich. And can I blame my girlfriend for my lack of EOPness? Is it her fault that it's been a struggle lately? No. If she opens a bottle of wine, I don't have to have a glass. If she wants cheese on her Lentils and Chard, I don't have to put cheese on mine. But you know what? It makes me wanna do what she's doing.
I'm not a very Alpha personality. But I'm starting to realize that I need to be the kitchen alpha, and I might just have to find a t-shirt with an A on it for the sake of taking a little more Agency when it comes to health and wellness.
I know I feel better when I'm doing all the OP stuff, and yet! I've been seeing what I can get away with. It don't work so well, over the long run, mainly because I get to feeling ungrounded and a little bitchy, and maybe even a wee hint o' the ol' OUTTA CONTROL!
It's all these shades of detox, right? Starting in on WW was the hardest, but returning to a safety net of really working the program, that's another one. And that's where I am. I know it's better that way-- and if I remember all my fellow WW Princesses, I don't feel so alone.
posted by Stine @ 4:13 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Here's the thing...
You HAVE to remember how far you've come. When we talk, I always think "she sounds so clear" and that may be just the way you sound all the time :) but really, that tool analogy I used on the boards? You seem to have a whole new set. you've tinkered with this whole new way of thinking for quite some time now. And yeah, there's been set backs and yeah there's been pints, but all in all you've really rocked this. Really.
I don't know about the gf/food thing. I'm now in the throes of figuring out the wife/food thing. S. would rather chop off her hand than sabotoge me, but when I sabotoge myself, she takes the hint and runs with it. When I see her go back for a second helping, what can I say? Do I tie myself to the couch? Is she disregarding me and my struggle in her decision to have that second helping? I don't know. I know it's not deliberate. I also know that if I cook it, she will eat it, so once you're done with that A Shirt, can I have it for awhile?
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