on getting real

Just this moment I was pondering the relationship between fitness and emotional/mental boundaries. And let me say that I know that not all the "fit" have good boundaries. But I was thinking about my ride home from work yesterday, and how it functioned as this release of all the tension I was feeling, and it started turning into the space in which I was mulling shit, and if there's one thing I know, it's that you can't ride distracted. It's dangerous. And then I had this revelation-- there on my bike as I rode into the wind, I felt it so firmly in my gut that it was a huge relief. And right then and there I resolved to leave my second job, to get out of what I could see was/is a bad situation. It's about having this boundary about my psychic/emotional space, but I found it through processing the information (previously churning in my head) down into my body. And maybe in struggling a little against the wind (which I cannot control), I realized that my work environment (which I can control) is really my choosing. And if my openness and clearheadedness are not met, I don't need to stay. And so I can ride away from there on my bicycle.

And so I did.