a day of mourning, a day of celebration...

...I say Let's Eat.

Or, in the words of Baudelaire: "ask the wind, the wave, the stars, the clock, all that which flees, all that which groans, all that which rolls, all that which sings, all that which speaks, ask them, what time it is; and the wind, the wave, the stars, the birds, and the clock, they will all reply: "It is time to get drunk! So that you may not be the martyred slaves of Time, get drunk, get drunk, and never pause for rest! With wine, poetry, or virtue, as you choose!"

I'm so all talk. But it sounds good. It seems fitting, given the fact that the citizenry of seven states in the good ol US of A felt that it was their duty to "protect" marriage from the evil clutches of homosexuals.

This morning, to be quite frank, I was spitting barbed thoughts at all my straight friends (in my head):

"What did YOU do to help us gain equal rights?!!"
"Another notch on the belt of heterosexual privilege. Lucky you."
"Bitter? Who me? Now why would this second class citizen dyke be bitter?"
"You might as well be a Republican."

I know this does nothing to further the cause of equal rights for GLBT folks. But I can't help but think of those friends who DO enjoy hundreds of rights (given to them simply because they said "I Do" to someone of the opposite sex) on a daily basis and they don't think twice about it. Yeah, I know, we should all be jumping up and down over the victories in the House and Senate. I don't take any of that for granted, but let's face it--the people decided to send a message to the President about the Iraq War and he could not help but see this "thumping" (his words) as a call for Change. But I don't believe that those who chose to send that message were thinking, in any way, about the thousands of GLBT people who are disenfranchised in this country every day. I am not saying that equal rights for GLBT people should take precedent over the Iraq war quagmire--I just think that these democratic victories are not some great indication of a sea change in social policy in America. The individual state races made that very, very clear.

I should say too that it's not just the straight-but-not-narrow people who I was screaming at in my head. I also have to acknowledge the members of my own (rainbow) family who believed that this domestic partnership bill was just a half-assed way to keep gay people from having the exact same rights as straight people. These folks want MARRIAGE, all of it, and nothing else will do. How many people who share this mindset actually voted no on I? Did it swing the outcome? We will never know. All I can think to say is Why? Why not take what we can get in a world that would rather, it seems, see us disappear than hold out for a miracle that WILL NOT COME in our lifetime? What's the point? Is making a political statement more important than having the right to visit my wife in an intensive care unit?

I'm tired. It's not over 'til the fat lady sings, and I ain't sung yet, but I barely have a voice at this point.

I love you, Pants. I will use my last breath to say that, over and over and over again, and even if you never read this, it's out there. I am a woman who loves a woman and in that I feel absolutely positively no shame.

My shame rests with the people of Colorado, who voted with their fear and not their hearts.