a good day to weigh-- not!

the day before yesterday I stepped upon ye olde Tanita even though I was 9 hours into what has turned out the be one of the fouler (as in heavier, puffier) periods in recent memory.

so I stepped on the scale and had a little gasp and then decided that this would be a "bye" week in terms of recording my weight, but as I type that now, I think, HEY! WHO AM I FOOLING? Like I can neatly compartmentalize and forget what the scale said? So maybe I will record it, in an effort to let go of it rather than lugging around the image of those numbers in my head and referring to myself by code names such as Chubette and Puffy.

Let's face it: it's a sucky time of year for maintenance, even. I exercised a fair amount last week, but it's been tough. Oh, and the period. What a mind-fuck that is. So I may be at my winter weight and not even know it, or I may be higher (or lower) but at some point I have to let go of number and ask myself,

How do you want to be this week?

I think I wanna be better. I think I wanna make some healthier decisions, despite my constant desire to check out from the stress that is finishing this derned culinary program. So that's what I'm gonna do.

And I'm not gonna get all dogmatic on my own ass (weightloss equivalent of chasing one's own tail). Just a few little goals for activity-- maybe "1/2 hour a day, minimum" or some such thing.

I got it yesterday that I'm tired. The 18 - 20 mile roundtrip ride for school isn't even possible some days due to my exhaustion. That's sad. That said, a brisk walk somewhere in there is completely possible.

I'm gonna go put that scary number in my spreadsheet. And then I'm gonna start making my way back up that slippery slope.