my two right feet

I was going to head to the gym about 10 minutes ago, you know, beat the 5:00 crowds. And I spy a hair tie on my desk that I know I will want to use to get my hair off my neck once I get to the gym, and think "I should put that in my gym bag." So I open said bag, drop in the hair tie and...one of my hiking shoes stares right back at me. Wait a minute, my brain says, slowly. Wait.......a..........minute. I open the bag wider. There's my running shoe. Shoe. Singular. It registers: I packed one hiking shoe and one running shoe in my gym bag. What the hell was I thinking?

So I'm not going to the gym. Instead I'm going to leave here at the stroke of 5 and buzz home and jump on my Chase (bike, that is) and get in a good ride. Because I need it. Because this body is starvin' for some exercise action. Because sitting at home, in my closet, are two unmatched shoes.

It's official: my brain is on vacation. While the brain lounges in some tropical locale sipping commemorativo margaritas and noshing on skewer after skewer of beef satay, the body is left at home to deal. Deal with a hellish work environment. Deal with friends proffering glasses of luscious shiraz and little toasts of fresh mozzerella and sun dried tomato pesto. Deal with saying no thank you four times to large slice of coworker's "mmmmmm moist" birthday cake. (What is it with my office and CAKE!!??) Deal with insane cravings for veggie egg rolls and moo sho shrimp from local Chinese joint.

"Oh MAN," whines Mouth, "you're killing me here!"

So now here sits Body, munching on Smart Balance non-hydrogenated microwave popcorn (No Trans Fats! Light Butter!) and chugging tumbler #7 of the day's water ration. Body is anxious to get out of this chair and MOVE ITS ASS.

Body so cranky. Wish Brain would cut short vacation and climb back in head.