and here I be

I'm back from a long walk in (not so) scenic Seattle. The not-so parts are mainly along main thoroughfares, between neighborhoods. So as I came up into Phinney Ridge is was nice, then as I dropped down into Ballard it was not-so. I went out walking because I'd really rather have torched up a lil' something and ate rice cakes until they resembled chicharrones. The pork/torch feelings came on because I fucked up my wrist/hand yesterday (most likely when I insisted on carrying both of the wooden signs for the shop in at once-- but then again it could have been when I scrubbed the hell out of an old sheet pan with an SOS pad) and it's been killing me and making me hum a little number I call "V is for Vicodin."
But I walked. And I smelled fastfood and I wished that I could somehow deprogram the program that was laid in place back in the early 70's when we went to McDonald's and I learned what luv felt like. I will henceforth refer to stuffing my pie hole mindlessly (or even not so mindlessly) as gettin' my luv on. So on my walk I had a couple of times I wanted to get said luv on, but I kept on trudging along, because I just paid my rent, and there's no way I'm gonna pay for luv right now.
And it occured to me while in the store that I make some differentiation between some of the foods I eat when I'm "on program" and other food, which I consider "real." I'm saying this because I bought one of those little yellow containers of "egg product" and I always do so with great shame, but it's this little place where I cut corners, I guess, and yet I've never quite gotten over feeling like a whore for it. You know, if I weren't so ashamed of the fake egg thing, I might go to the daily recipe exchange on WW and exclaim "ONE POINT OMELETTE!!!" and then share my recipe, which entails nothing more than a buttload of beansprout and some scallions then a little soy sauce and it's one of those things that walks this very uneasy line between delicious and disgusting, satisfying and sick. And you know what? It's a makin' me hungry.